Hashbrowns and gladrags
Undying selfless service
Pam* was a beautiful 31-year-old kindergarten teacher with a cancer that had spread all through her body to her lungs, bones, liver and brain. She was itchy and blotchy from taking steroid medications to help with her pain and energy levels, breathless with any exertion at all, and her skin was as jaundiced as the colour of mustard, but this young lady was one of the most tenacious patients I’ve ever met.
We often saw her during our lunch breaks, sitting in the hospice garden talking into a video camera. She would be donned in a beautiful sundress one day and a polka-dotted pantsuit the next, which really piqued my interest as most patients are content to be in pyjamas all day under a warm quilt.
It turned out that Pam was busy recording videos for her kindergarteners. She didn’t want the children to be upset by her sudden absence, so she decided she would record enough content for them to watch her for at least 10 minutes a day for the rest of the term. She also didn’t want to scare them with the view of her hospital room or the changes in her appearance, so she would dress up and brave the elements to maintain some normalcy for the children. On one instance, she even ordered an entire tray of McDonald’s hash browns to the hospice to film a lesson on ‘the many uses of potatoes’. The staff enjoyed an extra treat for lunch that day.
When she wasn’t recording, she spent her free time preparing lesson plans and editing videos. She told us this little project was a good way to keep her distracted from the pain and discomfort that she experienced 24/7. In my mind, I could think of many other ways to keep my distressed mind occupied through such a horrible time, and none of these really involved the service or benefit of others. Pam was just wholesome that way.
Her smile was beautifully infectious. She lit up every room she was in, and radiated positivity and elegance in an unimaginable way. Daily, she would thank us for the work we did and send us off with a sweet smile. As hospice staff, we all love the work that we do, but it would be a massive understatement to say that Pam gave our job a different kind of meaning during her time with us. She even handed out gold star stickers and candy once in a while, which made us all feel like we were four again.
She soon became too frail to dress up or go outside, and would sometimes be wheeled onto the patio in her bed so she could still breathe some fresh air. Even so, she would ask for her hair to be blown nicely and fresh makeup to be put on so she could record some quick messages for ‘her children’.
Pam died swiftly from a merciless disease. Her family shared with us that she had managed to hit her target of recording enough content so that the children could still see her face and hear her voice every day until the end of their term. This project was what kept her going in the final weeks of her life.
One of Pam’s dying wishes was that her ashes be encapsulated and infused into a tree in the little yard of the kindergarten she taught at. We don’t know if it was ever approved by the council, but we know that her legacy will continue long into the lives of these children.
What a precious reminder of sacrificial love this was, from such a beautiful soul. If someone with such imminent mortality could be of such selfless service to others - how could we not practice the same in our lives?
This week’s reflection prompt: What sacrifices can you make for your loved ones this week?
*All names and details have been changed to protect patient confidentiality