You only die once
Make it memorable for others
Margaret* became a scientist in a generation where few women were encouraged to get an education, and spent her lifetime fighting to prove her worth at work and in the society.
Now that she was almost 90 and actively dying from an advanced cancer, she really couldn’t care less about what others thought of her.
You only die once - make it memorable for others
This was Margaret’s tagline.
For someone so prim and proper, she had such unexpectedly eccentric ideas of how to spend her final weeks, that she gave our funeral cardboard cutout man a run for his money.
She got her first tattoo in the last fortnight of her life. She had a soft spot for one of our young care workers who reminded her of her deceased son, and decided to get a tattoo that matched his - a large bottle of beer on her forearm.
She had a lovely head of soft white hair, but decided that this was not the colour for her and arranged for streaks of purple highlights instead. She reasoned that she wanted to give the funeral directors a good laugh when they collected her body.
She then threw a pre-90 ninetieth birthday party and ordered her favourite cream-and-rum cake for everyone. She sat at the hospice entrance to welcome her guests, while sipping wine from the bottle through a straw.
She also thought it might be fun to try a zip-line for the first time - we unsuccessfully begged her to change her mind, but thankfully the weather conditions were too poor for her to leave safely.
A week before she passed away, she asked for her daughter to bring in her ‘funeral nightie’. This was a neon green dress with bright orange stripes across it. She bought it from ‘a youngsters’ shop’ and insisted she would wear it on only one occasion - her deathbed.
‘Nothing common about me’
Margaret often said that about herself in the time that we knew her.
There was certainly nothing common about her - she was a special one; they don’t make ones like these anymore.
Margaret passed away peacefully in her funeral nightie. Weeks later, her daughter brought in a photo of the guests at her funeral, all dressed in bright colourful outfits - a strict instruction from Margaret as she did not want any ‘mournful colours’ at her send-off. They had danced to the music of ABBA that afternoon, whilst sipping wine from the bottle through a straw.
She got what she wanted in the end - a very memorable death for the people around her.
This week’s reflection prompt: How would you like to be remembered?
*All names and details have been changed to protect patient confidentiality
I love this so much, thank you for sharing Eden! While I likely wouldn't want a tattoo or purple hair I would want a lovely environment that smelled good and was cozy and calming. This story is very inspiring that we can be in control of some things that are important to us.
fabulous